Hernando – A Handicapable Squirrel

Sitting on my Mothers back deck, the birds chirping, the fountain burbling, the sun upon my face I met Hernando, the handicapable squirrel.

I was drinking some fresh ground Dunkin Donuts coffee prepared by my mother with love and reading ‘Consciousness and Healing’ by Marilyn Schlitz and others when I noticed movement only feet from my…..well, feet.

Walking across the bench that traces one corner of the deck I saw a young squirrel who appeared to be standing with one leg down between the slats of the bench. It was not so. There was no leg to dangle. There was but a nub. A cute little stump where presumably a leg once belonged. Hernando is handicapable. A gimp, if you will.

But the little fucker runs and jumps and holds an acorn between paw and nub and chomps away just like his friends. He showed no signs of embarrassment at me staring at his injury (malformation?) and sure as hell didn’t seem to be frightened of me in the least.

Hernando, seen here showing obvious signs of nubbage:

Now, I must admit, while Hernando does seem to have adapted to being differently abled quite well physically, I do have some concerns for his emotional well being. On numerous occasions I did witness him charging aggressively towards two of the other adolescent squirrels in what appeared to be an ascertion of dominance. Now, I understand as well as the next guy that in this world we gotta get a nut, no matter what means are necessary, this is survival.

But Hernando lives in the suburbs, a rather affluent, upper middle-class wooded environment with nuts aplenty (at least as far as my eyes can see). And I dare say that I saw Hernando chase away a less than menacing chipmunk, forcing the poor little creature to flee from the yard and its bountiful supply of good eats.

While sitting outside pondering the implications and potential pitfalls of being a handi-capable squirrel I was approached by the wise squirrel Schlomo:

Schlomo told me that Hernando's aggressive behaviour was not a result a of his nub. In fact, Hernando's agression was nothing new at all. It turns out that Hernando came from a particularly affluent family and from early childhood had assumed a position of dominance in the community.

As it turns out, Hernando was not malformed, and there had been no accident. There had been a community decision to take the limb that had taken from many.

Hernando is on parole. He was jailed in the hollow beneath an oak tree and was later released after having his paw removed. This is squirrel law. He who steals anothers nuts loses that which he used to steal.

Them rodents don't fuck around.